Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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