Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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