The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You were trust falling into bushes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
