96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
NoShamevember. You game?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
