Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
