honey bunches of taint.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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