He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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