Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
