Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the raccoons are back...
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