I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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