So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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