yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
