awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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