Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
