The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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