I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
