You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
