Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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