the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize