Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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