She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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