Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
