I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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