Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize