He is like the real live version of the state fair..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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