Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize