I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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