the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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