Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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