nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The uberlube is also flammable
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize