You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize