that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
