YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize