There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
