almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize