she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize