its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
