if you like me you must not know who I am
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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