Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
