what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
