your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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