we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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