see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize