I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
