Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
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Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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