There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
