my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
