it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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