Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
