everyone is single if you try hard enough
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
