I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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