if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
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So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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