At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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