There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
