Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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