The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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